my mother and her oldest sister have always had a tense, tumultuous relationship. I run my mom’s twitter account and about six months ago, I followed her older sister’s business account.

every once and awhile, I favorite a tweet of hers or she retweets “me” (my mom) and I swear, she’s being more cordial to my mom at family functions.

social media changes lives, guys

i-need-that-seat:

iapollogise:

I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.

I never thought about it this way. This is beautiful.

(via arabellesicardi)

fwarg:

I cleaned my apartment head to toe before my mom came over and she has been here for five minutes and is already vacuuming and dusting

oh god

she literally CUT MY RUG to make the shape suit the room better

I cleaned my apartment head to toe before my mom came over and she has been here for five minutes and is already vacuuming and dusting

oh god

Anonymous asked:

i accidentally clogged up one of the toilets in my rental house from trying to flush too much tp down it - not because of a massive poo, but because i'd spent 3 hours on the bathroom floor crying on the phone to my mom and i lost track of how much tp i'd used as kleenex/thrown in the toilet. it clogged, overflowed, and flooded the basement a few days later but i pretended i had no idea why.

I burned a whole through the synthetic fabric of a big lounge chair in my hotel room because I accidentally left my curling iron on.